What Happens at a Military or Veterans' Funeral?

Detailed Explanation

If someone in your family served, military honours can be part of their funeral, and in most countries they are added to an ordinary service rather than replacing it. The steps in what happens at a funeral service still apply. What changes is a set of formal elements, usually placed at one point in the service, that mark the person's service to their country.

Service funerals and veterans' honours are different things

It helps to separate two situations that both get called a "military funeral":

• A service funeral is organised by the armed forces for someone who dies while serving. The military takes on much of the arranging and cost, and the ceremony can be substantial: bearers in uniform, a band or bugler, sometimes a firing party.
• Honours at a veteran's funeral are for someone who served at some point and died later. The family arranges the funeral as normal, and the honours are added on request. These are usually simpler and, depending on the country, may come from the armed forces, veterans' organisations, or both.

Most families asking this question are in the second situation, often for a parent or grandparent whose service was decades ago.

What the honours usually include

The details vary by country and service, but the common elements are:

• The national flag on the coffin. Draped over the coffin for the service, then folded ceremonially and presented to the next of kin, often with a brief formal statement of thanks. For many families this is the moment they remember most.
• A bugle call. The Last Post in Commonwealth countries, often followed by a period of silence and the Rouse or Reveille; Taps in the US. Where a live bugler isn't available, a recording may be used.
• An honour guard or bearer party. Serving or ex-service personnel may carry the coffin, stand guard beside it, or line the route.
• A firing party or rifle volley. Traditional at some military funerals, especially in the US, but not a standard element of every veterans' funeral.
• Words of remembrance. In Commonwealth countries, the Ode of Remembrance from Laurence Binyon's For the Fallen is often read, with the response "We will remember them" or, in Australia and New Zealand, "Lest we forget".
• Medals and standards. Medals may be displayed on the coffin, and ex-service organisations sometimes send a standard bearer.

Families can usually choose which elements they want. Honours sit comfortably inside a religious service, a celebrant-led service, a burial or a cremation.

How honours are requested

In most countries the family doesn't contact the military directly. They tell the funeral director that the person served, and the funeral director makes the request through the relevant defence office or veterans' organisation. It helps to have the person's discharge papers, service number or service dates, though a funeral director can usually start without them.

Timing matters. Honour details and buglers need notice, and availability is thinner in rural and remote areas. Mention service at the first meeting with the funeral director, not the week of the funeral. Choosing a funeral director with experience of military honours makes this easier.

What stays with the family

Honours don't change who leads the service, who speaks, or who carries the coffin unless the family wants them to. Relatives and friends can still be pallbearers, and the eulogy can speak to the whole of someone's life, not only their service. Some families also create an online memorial where old comrades and relatives abroad can add their own stories and photos from that time.

Related but separate: graves and benefits

Honours on the day are separate from two other things families ask about. One is an official grave marker, covered in what is a war grave. The other is financial help with funeral or burial costs, which some countries offer eligible veterans through their veterans' department. The three are usually assessed separately, so it's worth asking about each one.

How it works where you are

Eligibility, who provides the honours, and what's included differ by country:

• In Australia: what happens at a military or veterans' funeral in Australia, covering eligibility for any Defence Force service, the catafalque party, the Ode and Last Post, and the separate Veteran Funeral Benefit.
• In the United States: federal law requires a military funeral honours ceremony for every eligible veteran on request. The minimum is a detail of at least two members of the armed forces, one from the veteran's branch, who fold and present the flag and play Taps (by a bugler or, if none is available, a recording). Eligible veterans are those discharged under conditions other than dishonourable, plus members of the Selected Reserve. The VA advises funeral directors to contact the service branch at least 48 to 72 hours before the service. Veterans' organisations often add elements such as a rifle volley. The VA also provides a burial flag and, for eligible veterans, burial in a national cemetery.
• In the United Kingdom: the Ministry of Defence offers a service funeral to the families of people who die in service, with a funding contribution towards it, or towards a private funeral if the family prefers; the Joint Casualty and Compassionate Centre manages this. There is no general entitlement to a military funeral for veterans who die after leaving service. Families often ask local ex-service organisations or regimental associations whether they can provide a standard bearer or bugler.

Things to Consider

• Raise service history at the first meeting. Many families forget to mention it, especially when the service was short or long ago.
• Check what's realistic locally. A full honour guard is easier to arrange in cities and near military bases. A smaller detail or recorded bugle call is a common and respectable alternative.
• Decide where honours sit in the service. Most families place them at the committal, so the ceremony is one clear moment rather than spread through the whole service.
• Warn close family about the flag presentation. It is often the most emotional point of the day, and knowing when it's coming helps.
• Think about who receives the flag. It normally goes to the next of kin. If several family members would value one, ask whether additional flags or certificates are available in your country.

Common Mistakes

• Assuming a short or peacetime career doesn't count. In the US and Australia especially, eligibility is much broader than families expect. Ask rather than rule it out.
• Leaving the request too late. Honours need people and coordination, and a request made days before the service may not be fillable.
• Assuming honours replace family roles. The family still decides on speakers, bearers and the shape of the service.
• Treating honours, grave markers and funeral benefits as one application. They are usually handled by different people with different rules.